Family Communication

Communicating with a newborn is hard. He only has one oral form of communication (crying) and he can't understand my oral form of communication (English). While already tenuous, communication lines break down even further when I haven't gotten enough sleep and I don't have the patience to figure out what he's trying to tell me.

Today was especially hard because Dash decided he only needed 7 hours of sleep for the whole day--midnight to midnight. Which meant that I only got 3.5 hours of sleep last night. I was very frustrated and not really in the mood to go to church. But I went to Sacrament meeting anyway, and I really felt like the talks were meant for me.  

They were both based on older church articles about Communicating Love in Families:

Family Communications

This talk gave seven recommendations for helping family members feel loved when you communicate with them. In applying this to a newborn:
1. Sacrifice the Time (I think I got this covered)

2. Set the Stage (I realized I could do better at setting a better stage so that baby isn't overstimulated)

3. Willingness to Listen (I also can improve on overcoming my personal frustration so I will be more willing to listen)

4. Vocalize Feelings (I need to tell Dash I love him aloud)

5. Avoid Judgement (I think I judge the baby by blaming my lack of sleep on him- even though he can't help it)

6. Maintain Confidences (Not really sure how this one applies...)

7. Practice Patience (Self explanatory)

Expressing Love within the Family

I loved the following quotes from this talk:

- "The best time—the easiest time—to start expressing love to our children is when they are infants." 

- "To express your love, you can hold him, cuddle him, gently squeeze him, kiss him, and whisper thoughts of love in his ear."

- "How would we react if each time a child was born our Father in Heaven made this kind of introduction to the parents: Thank you for preparing this little body for the spirit I have created. Now, I present him to you for a season to care for. Please teach him of me and of my Son. I so much want him back with me some day. … Remember this: He is loving. He will respond to teaching. He wants to learn. Please treat him with respect. The road will not be easy. Some of the time it will be most difficult. I want to help you raise him. Please call on me often for advice and counsel. Together we can help him fulfill his purpose in the earth."

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Dear Dash: 2 Weeks

Dear Dash,

At two weeks:

• Your umbilical cord came off! It's still healing, though, so it's hard to say whether you have an innie or an outie.
• You are back to your birth weight. 
• You've already grown two inches! 
• You go through an average of 11 diapers a day.
• You like the sound of car rides, blow dryers, and vacuums.
• You hate sponge bathes, wardrobe changes, diaper changes, and taking vitamin supplements.
• You sleep more and cry less (as does your mom) when grandma comes to visit. 

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Lessons Learned from Having a Baby

1. Not all babies know how to suck when they are born.
2. Nursing takes a long time- over five hours a day; with burping, diaper changes, and a drowsy baby stretching it to 8 hours a day.
3. Sitting after an episiotomy hurts really bad- especially when you do it eight hours a day.
4. I'm hungry as often as baby is.
5. Leaving the house to travel takes twice as long.
6. Going to bed takes 3 times as long and may not ever happen some nights.
7. Pros to formula feeding that I didn't think of before: takes less time, no need to supplement with vitamin D, you don't have to be careful with what you eat, less diapers to change.
8. Pros to disposable diapers I didn't think of before: the blue line on disposables makes it easy to check for a wet diaper, they are less bulky so clothes fit better, they are quicker to change.
9. New apps I couldn't live without:

Feed Baby

White Noise

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Before and After

I don't know how he fit in me...it must have been pretty squished in there.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Hello World

Dashel Robin joined our family early Sunday morning at 8:41am. True to his nickname, "Dash" arrived after approximately 6 hours of labor, which is pretty quick for a first time mom! 

As explained in my Overdue post, we had been anxiously awaiting Dash's arrival ever since he "dropped" a week earlier. Dash's head was so low that the doctor couldn't exactly tell how dilated I was on our Tuesday (Dec 30) appointment, but he predicted that baby would be born within a week. We were starting to doubt this prediction as the due date came and went. 

As we went to bed Saturday night, Matt remarked, "I think we'll sleep well tonight." I remember thinking, "We'll see." Not because I thought baby was going to come, but simply because I felt like he would come when we least expected it. At 2:50am, I woke up to intense contractions. I tried breathing exercises, different sitting positions, and running around the apartment to deal with the pain, while Matt dutifully tracked the contractions to see if they were long and strong enough to merit a trip to the hospital. At 3:50am we were gathering our bags and loading into the car. 

I was hoping the whole way to the hospital that this wasn't another false alarm- so the fact that I was still having painful contractions was actually a consolation. We made it to labor and delivery, where the nurse said that I had dilated to 5 centimeters and admitted me around 4:30am. My parents and sister arrived a little after 5am, just in time for me to receive an epidural. For the record, epidurals are THE BOMB. To give you an idea of the difference it made, check out this picture: 

Around 6am, the doctor on call came in and broke my water to speed up the process. Because I basically felt no pain, I was actually able to take a nap afterwards. When the doctor came in again around 8am, to our surprise he said I was ready to push. I was so grateful for the nurse's and doctor's encouragement as I pushed. Since I couldn't feel anything, it was hard to tell if I was making any progress, but they assured me I was. They even pulled out a mirror for me to see, but I only got a few glimpses since I had my eyes squeezed shut when I was pushing. Forty minutes and an episiotomy later, Dash made his appearance. 

It was so overwhelming to have the nurse put Dash on my chest. I couldn't believe I had made it. It seemed like I was going to be pregnant forever, and to finally see the actual work product was a joyous experience.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Overdue

This last week has been full of disappointment. Last Saturday, I started having real, regular contractions and we went to bed absolutely certain we would be parents the next day. But when I woke up, the contractions had ended. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get them to come back. Walking, eating pineapple and spicy foods, etc. Each night we would go to bed hopeful that the next day, we would have a baby. And each morning, we've been disappointed. I've never felt so frustrated or hopeless.

However, just because we felt disappointed at times this week, that doesn't mean that we gave up on enjoying the holiday break. We've been able to do a lot of things that we couldn't have if the baby were here. For example, I've been able to visit my family several times this week while Matt went to work. I've been able to do the last few loads of baby laundry, finish up nursery decorations, play games, visit with extended family members, and watch several movies. I was able to attend my sister-in-law's baby shower and go to the dentist. Even though a lot of these were errands and things that I could have gone without doing, I am grateful that they could be done. By the time the baby finally decides to come, I think I'll have run every possible errand I can think of. It's been nice to enjoy the last few days of "freedom."

If I were to make any suggestions for the last two weeks of pregnancy (be they weeks 38-40 or 39-41) it would be to plan fun things to do with your spouse and family members. Anything you can think of that would be difficult to do with a baby. That way, when the baby does decide to arrive, you know you took full advantage of the time you had, instead of dwelling on the fact that the baby didn't come when he was 'supposed' to.

Looks like I'll be getting my haircut today!

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

2014 in Review

JANUARY

Where we started out: House-sitting by Timpview High School, muddling through the middle of graduate school, enjoying life as newlyweds:

FEBRUARY

Matt went to a Psychology Conference in Las Vegas, and I attended a Writing Conference in Provo. We still had time to celebrate Valentine's Day, though:

MARCH

We enjoyed spending time with the Hiatt side as they all came for the wedding of Matt's oldest brother:

APRIL

It was the Lund's turn as we celebrated the wedding of my younger brother:

MAY

We didn't announce it for two more months, but this happened on Mother's Day:

JUNE

New jobs for Matt and I! Matt started working at the Church Office Building, and I split my summer between two immigration Law Firms.

JULY

We moved and we found out the baby's gender!

AUGUST

Matt's birthday and our vacation to Oregon.

SEPTEMBER

Sister Lund returned from her mission!

OCTOBER

We enjoyed attending General Conference and celebrating Halloween at home.

NOVEMBER

We were thankful for family and friends who helped us get the nursery stocked:

DECEMBER

Where we ended up: In a basement apartment by Provo Center Street, seeing the end of graduate school in sight with a dissertation approved and one semester of law school to go, anticipating parenthood.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah