Fixed Fairytales: Jack and Jill

Here is one of my favorite fixed nursery rhymes from HISHE Kids Youtube Channel:

In the spirit of fixing a nonsensical rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack lost his grip, headfirst he slipped
Into the well of water

Jill was not scared, she came prepared
With scuba gear for diving
She tumbled in and soon did swim
To aid Jack in surviving

She lifted Jack onto her back
And up the rope they rose
They reached the top and there did stop
To dry their soggy clothes

Then Jack and Jill went down the hill
Their pail full to the brim
Jack's head was sore from their chore
Though Jill enjoyed the swim.

The End!
The moral: always have scuba gear on hand.


Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Quick Fix Fairytales

I recently came across a youtube channel of "fixed fairytales" for kids. I really loved their creativity and thought it would be fun to do a series of blog posts where I could fix a few fairytales or nursery rhymes! Here are a few quick fix fairytales:

Sleeping Beauty
The scene opens in the king's courtroom. The queen is largely pregnant and is constantly moving in her throne, trying to get into a comfortable position. The king bends forward to better concentrate on the servant who is going over the final details for the baby's coronation.
Servant: "And lastly, we will invite all of the fairies so that the princess can get amazing magical gifts."
Queen: "Just a moment! How will you know that you have invited all of the fairies?"
Servant: "Why, by consulting with the most up-to-date fairy directory."
King: "Check it twice! It would be awful if we forgot anyone."
Servant checks the directory.
Servant: "Oh dear! We missed Maleficent! I guess we were distracted by Meriweather's name. We'd better get that invitation off right away!"
The scene changes to Maleficent in her nightgown, going out to check the mail.
Maleficent: "Every other fairy has received her invitation! If I don't get one by today, I'm going to...oh! my invitation arrived!! I guess I won't curse that little girl after all."
So Maleficent came to the coronation and she gave Aurora the gift of invincibility, so that she would never be cut or bruised by anything.
The End.
The moral- always check your guest list twice.


Rapunzel
The scene opens with a man and a woman in their small kitchen. The woman is largely pregnant and crying.
Man: "What ails you, dear wife?"
Woman: "If I do not get some rapunzel from the garden behind our house, I shall die!" *sobs*
Man: "Well if it's really that bad I suppose I could go steal some..."
Woman: "Don't be ridiculous! A witch owns that garden! She'll curse us if she catches you stealing! You have to pay for it!"
The man then walks to the witch's door and knocks. The witch pokes her head out.
Man: "Parden me, ma'am, but my wife is pregnant and craving rapunzel. Would I be able to buy some from you?"
Witch: "Well, I've never had anyone offer to buy my herbs before- they usually just steal them, the cowards. Of course you may have some!"
So the woman ate rapunzel for a week and then her craving went away. When the child was born, they named her Rapunzel.
The End.
The moral- buy, don't steal.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah