my brain on insomnia

I need to give credit to this post, which I am slightly modifying to apply to myself:
http://www.wifyr.com/blog/2014/07/07/this-is-your-brain-on-insomnia/

Ah, at last, bedtime. Deep breath in...
Breathing in.

Fill those lungs, now breathe out...
Breathing out.

Pace it out, slower...
I am going slower. How come you aren't sleeping?

Give me a few minutes. Now breathe...
I don't think this is working very well for you. 

Is too. Be quiet.
What if I can't go to sleep, what if my planning won't let me?

Then we'll just get out the virtual white board.
White board?

Sure. Just put everything you think of on the board.
Like this?

Exactly. Now erase it right away.
But that was a good plan up there.

Oh really, what was it?
Well, it's about how you can redecorate that spare room...

(a long while later)
I can't believe you tricked me like that. Back to the board. No cheating.
I was just--

I want nothing but a mind numbing expanse of white up there.
But what if I want to plan? Just one more plan?

Do you realize how late it is?
But you have a bunch of things you have to do this week.

(an even longer while later)
What are we doing still awake? What were you thinking? That's it, you were thinking. No more thinking.
Can I have a drink of water?

Don't try to distract me.
But what if I have to go to the bathroom?

You should have thought of that earlier.
But I think--

That's just it, bedtime is for dreaming, not thinking. You can think in the morning.
But--

No more buts. Erase. Erase. Erase.
If you don't write on that notepad on your phone, all of the things you have to do tomorrow will be forgotten. Forever. 

Fine. If I write it will you go to sleep?
Cross my heart.

Phone on. Typing a list. Phone off.
Thank you. 

You're welcome. Now I can sleep. Wait, now what time did my phone say?
3:00am.

Grrrr. I went to bed at 11.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah