"I know you're hungry and thirsty, but you're afraid."

Over the past few months I've tried to do posts highlighting the good times we've had this summer. We've gone to Seven Peaks, enjoyed birthday celebrations, watched movies, spent time with friends, etc. Hopefully there won't be many of the post I'm about to write, but I think it's sometimes it's necessary to share the bad times. The hard times. The times of fear. Because everyone has those times, but often they don't want to talk about them.

As you could tell from our trailer, we're excited to welcome Baby Hiatt to the family. But the summer has not been easy because of it.

I've been sick. Extremely sick. Nausea, exhaustion, and migraines have been constant companions. Even though I was on medication, it only worked about half of the time. I'd have a few good days each week, and a few nasty ones.

I'm glad to live close to my parent's house, so that when I got sick at work (in SLC) I could drive to their home instead of trying to survive for an hour going back down to Provo. This has lead to some interesting encounters with my mom, as she would come home to find me somewhere on the floor, like in this picture:

Not staged. She actually took a picture when she found me before coaxing me off the floor.

As miserable as it was to spend a few hours by the toilet or a trash can vomiting, nothing was worse than the times I had to go to the doctor/hospital for an IV:

Blue thing on the left is a barf bag, blue thing on the right is a heating pad covering the IV.

I personally hate needles, and am slighlty traumatized every time I get my blood drawn, but on this day I could have cared less. I would have let them do an IV with both arms and a leg if it would have helped.

Addressing the title of this post, my husband said it to me this week when I was having another rough day. I had thrown up in the morning, but by the afternoon my stomach was growling. It's hard for me to know when I can actually keep food down sometimes, and I always have the fear that I will eat or drink only to throw it all up again (as has happened many times before). Even things that are supposedly easy to digest, like water.

The first trimester was one of my greatest trials, and while the time period is over, the symptoms are not. I still get sick. I still miss work. I still don't have the energy I wish I had. And I'm still afraid. I'm afraid of more pain. I'm afraid that all my plans will be ruined, because of something I can't control. I'm afraid that it will never end. But I try to remember that every day is a friend, and in the end, I'll get a sweet baby boy.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Our Big Annoucement

We made a movie trailer!

Also, check out the bloopers:

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Quarter of a Century Old

My birthday was a blessing. I've had a pretty stressful summer, and it was so nice to take a day off. Matt was awesome and took pictures for me for this post (and, of course, spent the day with me).

I felt the love with all these cards from family members and friends.

Splash pad times at Pioneer Park

Birthday lunch and treat at Brick Oven

I got a mer-rebekah and a mer-matt from my niece for my birthday- we took them to the Bean Museum so they could be in their element.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Farmers Market

How I've lived in Provo for 5 years and never gone to the Farmer's Market is a mystery to me. Seriously, what an awesome treasure find! There was less produce than I was expecting (which could just be because of the time of year) but there were a lot of other fun "booths" with homemade products like earrings, blankets, hair accessories, etc, as well as some local food companies (food trucks or other small vendors). 

So we originally only went to get fruit, but we ended up buying two more things. Overall, I think we had great self control. 

Hawaiian Shaved Ice with a flavor I've never tried before

Korean in a cup- compliments of a food truck

Rhetorically,

Rebekah

my brain on insomnia

I need to give credit to this post, which I am slightly modifying to apply to myself:
http://www.wifyr.com/blog/2014/07/07/this-is-your-brain-on-insomnia/

Ah, at last, bedtime. Deep breath in...
Breathing in.

Fill those lungs, now breathe out...
Breathing out.

Pace it out, slower...
I am going slower. How come you aren't sleeping?

Give me a few minutes. Now breathe...
I don't think this is working very well for you. 

Is too. Be quiet.
What if I can't go to sleep, what if my planning won't let me?

Then we'll just get out the virtual white board.
White board?

Sure. Just put everything you think of on the board.
Like this?

Exactly. Now erase it right away.
But that was a good plan up there.

Oh really, what was it?
Well, it's about how you can redecorate that spare room...

(a long while later)
I can't believe you tricked me like that. Back to the board. No cheating.
I was just--

I want nothing but a mind numbing expanse of white up there.
But what if I want to plan? Just one more plan?

Do you realize how late it is?
But you have a bunch of things you have to do this week.

(an even longer while later)
What are we doing still awake? What were you thinking? That's it, you were thinking. No more thinking.
Can I have a drink of water?

Don't try to distract me.
But what if I have to go to the bathroom?

You should have thought of that earlier.
But I think--

That's just it, bedtime is for dreaming, not thinking. You can think in the morning.
But--

No more buts. Erase. Erase. Erase.
If you don't write on that notepad on your phone, all of the things you have to do tomorrow will be forgotten. Forever. 

Fine. If I write it will you go to sleep?
Cross my heart.

Phone on. Typing a list. Phone off.
Thank you. 

You're welcome. Now I can sleep. Wait, now what time did my phone say?
3:00am.

Grrrr. I went to bed at 11.

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

Chronicles: The Silver Chair

We did it!! We finished Book #6, and as always, I have a few comments to make.

First, this book is a good representation of life on earth. Aslan gives two children (Eustace and Jill) a mission to accomplish and provides them with four signs in order to guide them along the way. Aslan tells the kids to repeat the signs often, so they wouldn't forget them. What a great metaphor for the scriptures- they are given to us to guide us in this life. We're encouraged to read them often, in order to regain perspective.  So every week, Matt and I would re-read the signs before beginning that week's chapters.

Secondly, my favorite part of the book is when the villain is trying to convince the children and their guide that Aslan and the world they come from doesn't exist. She points out that they only describe Aslan and their world based on metaphors, and that they could have just dreamed the whole thing up. The children start to believe her, until their trusty guide, Puddleglum, says: "Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things--trees and grass and sun and moon and starts and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world."

Sometimes our testimonies are questioned by those who claim that we can't prove what we believe in. They say it could all just be made up. Well, if that's the case, I have to say that my belief in the purpose of this life and the life after this one is a whole lot more encouraging than believing otherwise. Which is why, even if it isn't true, I'll stick to my "play-world."

Rhetorically,
Rebekah

4th of July

First off, let's start with a picture of the most patriotic house in our neighborhood (not ours). We saw this on a walk and I HAD to take a picture:

Pool party at my aunt's house!! This is a live action shot of Sharks vs. Minnows.

Eerie picture of the firework sparkler show.

It was great to see extended family! It's been awhile since I've caught up with my aunts, uncles, and cousins' lives. Also, it was extremely fun to spend time with Megan and embarrass Robby by pulling out old photo albums. 

Rhetorically, 

Rebekah

We moved!

Okay, so you already knew we moved if you read June's "month in review," but here are the lessons we've learned from moving:

• Always assemble your furniture beforehand!! Matt and I thought it would be easier to move if we just left everything in boxes. We just didn't realize it would take 23 hours to assemble everything, which really pushes back unpacking if you don't have a place to put things. 
• Get lots of helpers. We were blessed with some awesome ward members who helped move everything in one night, and they even helped assemble our table, chairs, and couch, which saved us half of the 23 aforementioned hours of assemblage. 
• Know where you want to put things. Luckily we were able to tour the apartment beforehand and we saw how the last couple set things up, which helped us in deciding where everything should go.
• Don't save cardboard boxes. The last house we were in was completely furnished with kitchen items and everything (the joys of house-sitting) so we literally had all of wedding gifts and personal things still in their boxes. We must have had a full room just of collapsed cardboard, which seemed to be half of the battle of clearing out the apartment. So don't save your boxes. 

It took us a week to get everything assembled, unpacked, and thrown away. Matt and I both hate clutter, so it seemed like every spare moment we had was dedicated to making our place livable. And, after seeing the following pictures, you may understand why:

June 26: Our house looks like this. And this is just one room. The boxes were strewn throughout the other rooms, just like this, in a never ending obstacle course. 

June 29: Starting to improve, although we've still got some unpacking to do. Hey look, a bookcase! Just one of the many items we put together that week.

July 2: It's a home!! With decorations and stuff!!

We're glad to be finally settled in. While our new home is much smaller, here are some of the perks:
- Right next to the highway (no more 20 minute commute through the valley!)
- Our bedroom has no windows, which means I don't wake up at 5:30am with the sun

Rhetorically,

Rebekah