I'd rather...

One of my favorite TV shows to watch (when I have time) is Psych.  On the show, Carlton Lassiter, a police officer, will occasionally say gems like, "I'd rather shower with a bear,"  "I'd rather learn to play the harp," or "I'd rather spend the rest of my life at the Lilith Fair."  While I personally may or may not share Lassiter's opinions (as they reflect things that he would normally despise doing to emphasize his distate for a suggestion) his quotes have inspired me to create my own:

I'd rather...

1. major in chemistry (while I appreciate those who study chemistry--as it means that I don't have to--this is a class that I successfully avoided taking in both high school and college. and will continue to avoid.)
2. sweep up maggots that are all across the kitchen floor (true story, actually. not only are maggots disgusting, but they don't easily sweep up. they are semi sticky and kind of roll into balls once you start sweeping, so you have to sweep them one by one. which can easily take several hours)
3. go clothes shopping (my sister once said, "don't take Rebekah shopping unless you really, really, desperately need her in a bad mood.")
4. abstain from eating chocolate for the rest of my life (no explanation necessary)
5. go on a road trip when I'm not the driver (this means I have no control over my return time, as I'm subject to the driver and other passenger's opinions and decisions. I tend to be non-confrontational, especially in close quarters like a road trip, and so I end doing what everyone else wants to. also, I get car sick)
6. read/ watch a tragedy where everyone DIES (I'm a happy-ending kind of gal. I figure I involuntarily see enough sadness in the world, why seek it out in movies or books? but that's just me)
7. shower with a spider (seriously, though, isn't this the worst? you see a spider anywhere in the shower and you instantly are trying to figure out if you should continue showering and hope it doesn't bug you, or if you should hop out, grab some toilet paper, and dispose of it. assuming, that is, that the spider is small)

We'll stop with lucky number seven. I'm sure there's more. Hopefully this post has inspired you to think of your own "I'd rathers."

Rhetorically,
Rebekah